Feb 6, 2012
Jan 2, 2012
I've always said that one of my hobbies is doing absolutely nothing to the point where you get too lazy to even text. Well thanks to "EAT PRAY LOVE" I learned my new favorite phrase of "dolce far niente" - it means the sweetness of doing nothing. If there was a dating website based on phrases, I would marry this one! Yessss.
May 27, 2011
ReBlog: ( I did not write this)
"The Whale… If you read a recent front page story of the San Francisco Chronicle, you would have read about a female humpback whale who had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps and lines. She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay afloat. She also had hundreds of yards of line rope wrapped around her body, her tail, her torso, a line tugging in her mouth. A fisherman spotted her just east of the Farallon Islands (outside the Golden Gate) and radioed an environmental group for help. Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was so bad off, the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her. They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her. When she was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles. She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, and nudged them, pushed them gently around as she was thanking them. Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives. The guy who cut the rope out of her mouth said her eyes were following him the whole time, and he will never be the same".
My thoughts: I think many times in our life, we will run into people who find themselves in tangles just as this whale. And although they may look big or dangerous and sometimes intimidating, their soul cries out for help and it's up to us to decide whether we want to help them or not. By helping them, you may find the satisfaction of "seeing someone through" or maybe you'll just get a high 5. Who knows, but it's definitely worth thinking about. I think God allows us to go through certain experiences in our life just to be able to help someone later on who finds themselves in that same web.
In the wise words of Plato (although I hated philosophy class, but that's beside the point) ... "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle".
Mar 23, 2011
Dec 30, 2010
I discovered something about myself this year - I get easily annoyed with the way people get during holidays. Don't get me wrong, I like certain holidays but geez, some people are just overrated and annoying. If that's not you, keep reading...
Dec 4, 2010
It's funny how you never know who's help you will need through the course of your life.
Oct 14, 2010
It’s been close to two months since my last post. A lot happens in two months, well at least in my head.
School has been very challenging for me and I think that part of it is because I know I don't have to do this. I don't have to go back. So many people tell me this is such a great decision I have made in going back for higher education; and every time I hear that i think: "really? do I really have to stay in school, am I sure I want to do this?"
This week was so difficult, not motivational and draining. I know I want this, I know I have a goal, a dream, a desire and that the only way to achieve this is to persevere for the next 3 years and “just keep swimming”.
For those of you who know me, you know that I've spent more time driving my car from place to place than the time I've spent on brushing my teeth the past 23 years. If witnessing accidents was a career, I'd be over-qualified. I would have a major in Traffic and a minor in Collisions (not my own) with specialty of encountering stupid drivers (not me, of course).
But here's my confession: The biggest complaint of my life is traffic. However, the other day I had a huge epiphany - that some of my most intimate moments of talking with God happen on the freeway, in my car, with traffic going 2mph, in first gear, "stop and go" when Im all alone and I can’t escape and say I need to get something else done. For some of you, you may think this is sad because, "gosh, that's not even the right way to pray - while driving" or some of you might be saying: "me too". Either way, what I want to get to is that God will use our biggest complaint(s) as a tool(s)/ means to teach us SOMETHING. What it taught me was that the purpose of traffic is to give people like me an extra chunk of time in my day to think and clear my head and talk to God and keep my sanity when i think Im going to go crazy.
Ironically, it's like my blessing in disguise. Every step in our lives contributes to something greater, whether it be good or bad. Every hour spent on that freeway on my way to school contributes to my destination for the day and every semester contributes to my academic destination for the year as well as every year will impact the destination of rest of my life. Its all a path leading to something else.
The 57 freeway is my new route, but rather than route, I prefer to call it Path 57, because a path is defined as "a way or a track designed for a particular purpose". I know the purpose behind all this. All in all, Im just glad God is the Highway Patrol of this path Im on, and he has the right to pull me over and slow me down from time to time. I know we live in the Cornflakes generation where we want everything to be quick and instant and get it done now but good things are worth waiting for - especially if they are personal goals, dreams or desires.
In the words of my grandmother "even if it takes you 5, 10, 30 years, it will always be worth it". Sometimes we must do undesirable things to reach our desires. My grandma still goes to school, the oldest lady in my class is in her sixties and another is in her fifties. Two are grandmothers, seven are mothers and the rest of us have no excuse. So there. You’re never too old to go back to school (for those of us who have made this a goal).
Now I know what the “extra mile” feels like, it’s not always sunny but that’s okay, in the end, there is always a rainbow and a leprechaun holding a Starbucks Frapuccino. (And just in case you’re wondering, it’s in a venti cup!)
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Aug 18, 2010
I've always been a doodler (if that's even a real word) and I always thought that I had a little talent when it came to art, nothing like Picasso but you know, more than stick figures and things as such.
My Junior year of college, I took an art class. I thought it would be easy but I never expected my professor to be Picasso's great-great granddaughter, more like the "Simon Cowell" of art. I had to draw and paint several pictures for that class and the hardest part of putting a piece together is the first stroke of the brush or the pencil. I was so nervous to mess up.
I think someone once said that life is like a canvas and whatever you make of it adds on to the painting of your life masterpiece. And in my life, I feel that I've finished one part of the painting but still have so much more to go.
Graduation from APU was 8 months ago and I don't know where time has gone. I had a whole list of things to-do (you know I would make a list) before I started school again for the second haul and I don't know why I feel like I got nothing done: I didn't work-out consistently, I didn't read all the books on my list, I didn't get to spend as much time with certain people as I wanted to, i didn't master all of my mother's recipes and now Im left with the feeling of just being tired, I didn't even take a vacation off work. And here I am starring at the blank canvas again, about to start at a new school, in a new program and a whole new and longer commute. FAN-TAS-TIC!
I feel so hesitant to make that first stroke. It's not that I don't feel ready, it's just that I wanted to get things done before I got to this point. Maybe my brother is right, this summer sucked so bad, it wasn't even all that hot. I was still wearing a sweater at the beginning of August. I only went in a pool once and I didn't even swim cause I was freezing in it.
But I also have to focus on the flip side: I am back in the church choir, friendships were grown stronger, I ate what I wanted, no diets, I didn't get in to a car accident, I threw a party just because I felt like it, I'm healthy, I grew more baby hair (is that even a good thing?) and I've had 6 little (foster care) sisters throughout that time.
When I look back at my canvas, I just hope that the next part is as colorful as the first- "Artsy-fartsy".
* I painted the picture above, I copied it from something I saw on google once but this one was done by me.
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May 1, 2010
I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted a new blog. It’s been a tough last couple of weeks. Besides not being able to get rid of my late bed time habits and going to sleep at 12ish/ 1ish all the time, there are bigger more important things I’ve faced.
I feel like the more I try to be better, the more I fail. It’s like the harder I try to improve certain habits or areas in my character/ persona the more bad and sinful areas I discover about myself. It’s like there’s another rock in the way waiting to see me fall.
In the Bible, Jeremiah got to see a more figurative and symbolic example of this. God tells Jeremiah: “Arise, and go down to the potter's house, and there I will let you hear my words. So he went down to the potter's house, and there he was working at his wheel. And the vessel he was making of clay was spoiled in the potter's hand, and he reworked it into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to do”. (Jeremiah 18:1-4 RSV). I am a broken vessel, and my God I cannot count the times in which I have broken in my potter’s hands. So God is the potter, I am the clay. By the way, this pottery stuff takes a lot of patience to do. I’ve always been the type of person who never liked to get their hands dirty with gunky stuff but hey, this clay is gunky. My life for that matter is gunky. And God don’t mind gunky. And I always ask myself why??? If I was God, I’d choose to never get my hands dirty but I’m not God, He is and he chooses imperfect people.
…(Small tangent) I’m not a Lady Gaga fan but her song “Bad Romance” says: “I want your ugly, I want your disease, I want your everything as long as its free, I want your love blah blah blah….etc.” Ok, what if we think for a minute and realize, isn’t that what God is asking of us; our ugly, our disease, our love?! So many times in relationships people get hurt by their partner, over and over and over but yet they stay together and have patience and people say “man you’re lucky he/she hasn’t dumped you”. Well heads up, God doesn’t dump people , ironically people dump Him out of their life.
So I’ve realized, life is a matter of realizing we are in the potter’s hands. The question is, who is your potter? Who’s molding you? Is it your friends, your job, music, the media, or is it God? And it finally came to me, the part where it states in Jeremiah: “the vessel spoiled in the potters hands”. So even if I willingly want to be in the hands of God, even in his hands I spoil.
If you’re broken, recognize it, but look at it with purpose. Everyone else around is walking around with issues. If you’ve spoiled, recognize it’s best when you spoil in His hands because otherwise you’re just a rotten case.
If you’re waiting for the perfect day when you stop sinning to jump in the potter’s hands keep in mind, he wants your ugly too, its not just Lady Gaga singing it. Give him your gunky life, he will work wonders with it and make you into a beautiful masterpiece. It’s in the ugly stages of our life in which he works best. One of my favorite proverbs (not from the bible) is “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a beautiful butterfly”. Who knew a caterpillar would become a butterfly. But there lies a process: The cocoon. I am in my cocoon, and someday, I know I will be done with that process. In the meantime, just know that God’s promises are true and he is not finished with you.
The picture of the rainbow was a few weeks ago on my way home. In the midst of my hectic day, that reminded me that there’s a rainbow after every storm.
We are vessels, we are clay, and we are butterflies in the make….
Apr 21, 2010
During this time of year the cliche' arises of those well known "New Year Resolutions". Although many start strong, it's very few who finish strong. I regret to say that I can't even remember what resolutions I set at the beginning of of last year but this year, things will be different.
I have learned so much about God. We THINK we have him all figured out at times and we're sooo wrong. You see it's not about God being so concerned with our spiritual life. The fact is He is overall concerned with our life in general! He doesn't just want to be a part of our spiritual life, he wants to redeem our life- yes all of it!
I received a very interesting e-mail forward once- (let me just say I hate forwards whether it be through e-mail or a text, it's got to be EXTREMELY inspiring for me to even read it nonetheless to even pass it on). With that said, I opened this one and it was brief- short and to the point it read as follows "To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did."
To make my point.... I was reading in Genesis when Jacob made an agreement with Rachel's father to work 7 years to make Rachel his wife. Note: Rachel was beautiful and radiant and she had a sister (Leah) who was "not so pretty" so the Bible states I just rather use the word ugly haha. Anyway, At the end of the 7 years, rather than getting Rachel, the woman he worked so hard for, he gets Leah. Jacob, although he did not love Leah, he gave her a son. Leah gives birth to their first son and says "It is because the LORD has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now" and named him Reuben. The second time she said "Because the LORD heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too" and named him Simeon. The third time around she said "Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons." So he was named Levi. She conceived again ( I know you'd think Jacob would stop by now...), and when she gave birth to this son she said, "This time I will praise the LORD." So she named him Judah. To make the long story short, God saw Leah's struggle for her husband's love but in her struggle she turned to God and said "This time I will praise you" and God beautified her!
I dont know what your struggle is, but I do know mine. What I'm saying is no matter what we went through last year and years before, all though we complain and nag sometimes "THIS [YEAR] PRAISE THE LORD" this year will be different if you believe it! Sometimes all we can do is praise because you wont always get an answer. Maybe you will or maybe you wont but that is up to God. We can only do what's possible and leave the rest to HIM.
Continuing with the last part of what the forwarded e-mail I received, it read: "The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you. " This year I am choosing to live in God's Grace and that will overlap all my resolutions and transform them into his exquisite sublime plan. It doesn't matter what the future holds as long as you know who's holding you. What will you choose to do THIS TIME? Will you finish Strong?
Feb 23, 2010
So many times throughout my day, I have such wonderful experiences which are 99% random in which I think to myself: "Hey, I could blog about this!" but then I forget. So I don't have some fun topic to blog about but here we go with reality...
What I can tell you, dear reader, is that this moment is just a flash of life. Do you ever think of how God has the power to pull the plug on us at any given moment? It's a scary thought if you ask me. As many have experienced before they died, one minute you're here and the next moment you're not.
I was on my way to pick up Ivan's sister yesterday and as I was waiting for the green light, I was first at the light and right before my very eyes, I see this car hit another guy on his motorcycle in the intersection. I was in complete shock! I don't think it really hit me til' I saw the guy fly off his bike. I don't want to say all the details but he landed face down and didn't move. I immediately called 9-1-1 and pulled over to wait for the paramedics. I never approached the guy myself because people were already surrounding him so I stayed on the curb and said a prayer for him. I didn't know if he was alive or anything. My thought was that he was just really really hurt.
Today I drove by the same intersection and I saw flowers and candles at the corner which means........ he didn't survive. I know I never knew the guy but had that been someone I knew! My brother, my boyfriend, cousin, friend! What a fatal way to end life and it flashed before my very eyes. I'm still puzzled at this whole thing. I mean, what happens when you die? Do you see the bright light? Or do you just black out? I guess we'll know when we get there.
Life is short and so many times we take it for granted. I know people say that all the time but we do! We make promises we don't keep and we keep saying "someday...". Just stop it, do it today. Your next breath is not guaranteed and if we keep living like it is, we might miss the big picture. Be thankful for what you have and stop contemplating and what you don't.
Today I wrote a short quote:
"Some people work so hard in life to just get by, while so many of us have it easy. Sure we struggle here and there but at least we know our meals are certain, shelter is guaranteed and even if you only have just 1 friend, you are still not alone. Everyday i wake up and think of the many ways God has blessed me without deserving it - that my friends, is called GRACE".
Romans 3:23-24 states : "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus."
Here's to a second chance at life. The fact that we woke up this morning is enough to be thankful for.
Til' next time...
Feb 10, 2010
I've never had an allergic reaction to food - til' Applebees introduced their new "Grilled Shrimp and Spinach Salad". Have I mentioned that shrimp is one of my favorite foods? I Say....uhhh, Murphy's Law!
For the past 4 days I've been dwelling in the joy of hives, itches and scratches along with my new nickname: "Shrimpy". For the sake of unnecessary medical terminology, let's call this the "shrimples".
If there is anything good out of this, let is be, the thought that we take our health for granted. It's not fun or pretty, but rather a force of necessary time to check out of life and meditate on the things we forget to be thankful for. In my case, Health.
I'm fervently praying that I can still have shrimp, (please God, I just had lobster for the first time a year ago, I'm bearly living....take the veggies but not my shell-fish...).
Last week I had just told my friend: "Dont you ever wish you can just check out of life for a few days and chill?" Well, had i realized the power of my words I wouldn't be lying here in bed, itchy and well, shrimpy at such a late hour.
For some reason it seems so much worse when my mom is out of the country and I have to make soup for myself. It's not as good even though I followed her same recipe. It's the mom touch you know?
Be careful what you say and don't take your health for granted!
Credits: My Dad, Brother and Ivan- for being my proud supporters in Urgent Care, Poli for all your calls and name-calling, Michelle for sharing my last shrimp meal with me and Valerie for all your texts, Marlene for covering me at work (poor thing) and to CVS for my pills along with Benadryl and lastly, to you, for reading my ridiculous little blog about seafood.
Jan 28, 2010
On KETCHUP: On the flip side, today I also celebrated my best friend's birthday. We went to Ketchup, cute name huhh? It's an innovative little "rouge" place out in West Hollywood in which their food specializes in well, yeah, ketchup. There's something about celebrating another year of life not only with gifts but to celebrate the life of the gift God gave to me: my best friend. The food was awesome, I ate her free birthday dessert (without hesitation because she was "too full") and the topped the night off with visiting Rodeo Dr. for the first time. I know, I've lived in LA my whole life and I've never been, I couldn't believe it either.
Today was a day that reminded me to serve others and to be thankful for those who are dear to us. Not long ago, I lost one of my favorite aunts and sometimes I wish I could have told her one more time that she was special or that I loved her. People come and go, so do something nice for them while you still can, better now than never.
Til' next time...