Aug 18, 2010

The Other Part of My Canvas

I've always been a doodler (if that's even a real word) and I always thought that I had a little talent when it came to art, nothing like Picasso but you know, more than stick figures and things as such.

My Junior year of college, I took an art class. I thought it would be easy but I never expected my professor to be Picasso's great-great granddaughter, more like the "Simon Cowell" of art. I had to draw and paint several pictures for that class and the hardest part of putting a piece together is the first stroke of the brush or the pencil. I was so nervous to mess up.

I think someone once said that life is like a canvas and whatever you make of it adds on to the painting of your life masterpiece. And in my life, I feel that I've finished one part of the painting but still have so much more to go.

Graduation from APU was 8 months ago and I don't know where time has gone. I had a whole list of things to-do (you know I would make a list) before I started school again for the second haul and I don't know why I feel like I got nothing done: I didn't work-out consistently, I didn't read all the books on my list, I didn't get to spend as much time with certain people as I wanted to, i didn't master all of my mother's recipes and now Im left with the feeling of just being tired, I didn't even take a vacation off work. And here I am starring at the blank canvas again, about to start at a new school, in a new program and a whole new and longer commute. FAN-TAS-TIC!

I feel so hesitant to make that first stroke. It's not that I don't feel ready, it's just that I wanted to get things done before I got to this point. Maybe my brother is right, this summer sucked so bad, it wasn't even all that hot. I was still wearing a sweater at the beginning of August. I only went in a pool once and I didn't even swim cause I was freezing in it.

But I also have to focus on the flip side: I am back in the church choir, friendships were grown stronger, I ate what I wanted, no diets, I didn't get in to a car accident, I threw a party just because I felt like it, I'm healthy, I grew more baby hair (is that even a good thing?) and I've had 6 little (foster care) sisters throughout that time.

When I look back at my canvas, I just hope that the next part is as colorful as the first- "Artsy-fartsy".

* I painted the picture above, I copied it from something I saw on google once but this one was done by me.

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  1. i love this post!
    it totally captures what i have been feeling too well not like totally like we are twin sisters and stuff but for the most part i feel you ;)
    lov u!

  2. Very thoughtful, I enjoyed reading it.