It’s been close to two months since my last post. A lot happens in two months, well at least in my head.
School has been very challenging for me and I think that part of it is because I know I don't have to do this. I don't have to go back. So many people tell me this is such a great decision I have made in going back for higher education; and every time I hear that i think: "really? do I really have to stay in school, am I sure I want to do this?"
This week was so difficult, not motivational and draining. I know I want this, I know I have a goal, a dream, a desire and that the only way to achieve this is to persevere for the next 3 years and “just keep swimming”.
For those of you who know me, you know that I've spent more time driving my car from place to place than the time I've spent on brushing my teeth the past 23 years. If witnessing accidents was a career, I'd be over-qualified. I would have a major in Traffic and a minor in Collisions (not my own) with specialty of encountering stupid drivers (not me, of course).
But here's my confession: The biggest complaint of my life is traffic. However, the other day I had a huge epiphany - that some of my most intimate moments of talking with God happen on the freeway, in my car, with traffic going 2mph, in first gear, "stop and go" when Im all alone and I can’t escape and say I need to get something else done. For some of you, you may think this is sad because, "gosh, that's not even the right way to pray - while driving" or some of you might be saying: "me too". Either way, what I want to get to is that God will use our biggest complaint(s) as a tool(s)/ means to teach us SOMETHING. What it taught me was that the purpose of traffic is to give people like me an extra chunk of time in my day to think and clear my head and talk to God and keep my sanity when i think Im going to go crazy.
Ironically, it's like my blessing in disguise. Every step in our lives contributes to something greater, whether it be good or bad. Every hour spent on that freeway on my way to school contributes to my destination for the day and every semester contributes to my academic destination for the year as well as every year will impact the destination of rest of my life. Its all a path leading to something else.
The 57 freeway is my new route, but rather than route, I prefer to call it Path 57, because a path is defined as "a way or a track designed for a particular purpose". I know the purpose behind all this. All in all, Im just glad God is the Highway Patrol of this path Im on, and he has the right to pull me over and slow me down from time to time. I know we live in the Cornflakes generation where we want everything to be quick and instant and get it done now but good things are worth waiting for - especially if they are personal goals, dreams or desires.
In the words of my grandmother "even if it takes you 5, 10, 30 years, it will always be worth it". Sometimes we must do undesirable things to reach our desires. My grandma still goes to school, the oldest lady in my class is in her sixties and another is in her fifties. Two are grandmothers, seven are mothers and the rest of us have no excuse. So there. You’re never too old to go back to school (for those of us who have made this a goal).
Now I know what the “extra mile” feels like, it’s not always sunny but that’s okay, in the end, there is always a rainbow and a leprechaun holding a Starbucks Frapuccino. (And just in case you’re wondering, it’s in a venti cup!)
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